Knowing People

It takes alot to truly know a person.  Even the oldest of friends doesn't know everything there is to know about us.  We have so many things we've done in life, so many other lives we've touched in so many other places that it is nearly impossible to truly know someone totally unless we actually live with them every single day of their lives.  Six months, nine months, fifteen or twenty years isn't even enough to know someone through and through.  And if we only know part of someone's life and think we really KNOW them, we're falling prey to pure human ego.

So, I have to wonder why it is the habit of many people to make decisions about a person before they really know the fullness of their experiences.  Especially for those of us that serve the community in one form or another, we often end up meeting people at times of crisis in their lives and it is most certainly not this time frame in which we should assume we know every portion of what drives their thoughts, actions or deeds nor how much we think we know about all their reasons for being where they are in life when they find us.  Times of crisis are exactly that - a crisis.  Therefore, judging a whole human being by what we see of them at times of crisis is, at best, only a partial criteria on which to make decisions about how we see them as a person.

As well, when many of us have either A) really keen instincts or B) happen to be what some might term "psychic" or "gifted," it is all too common to feel we've got a corner on the market of human understanding and personal judgment.  If we move from a humble place about what our abilities teach us, we realize that even with the extra "gifts" involved, we probably don't really know them or their situations in life wholey at all.  So how can we gain true wisdom in situations where we are trying to know people better without making undue assumptions?  That's easy... two things.  Ask questions and truly listen to the answers.  It won't help us know the whole person immediately, but its a darn fine start!

Likewise, if something happens that we don't fully understand and we take that to heart as the be-all and end-all of our knowledge of a person, we often miss out on their deeper gifts, their sweeter tendancies and some of their most delightful personal stories among other facts that might otherwise help us truly know them for all they are in life.  I find it is always easier, wiser and more fulfilling to spend time-hours, days, weeks, months and years, when possible, in the joy of getting to know someone.  Always allow yourself to be pleasantly surprised, even by their worst habits.  In this way, we gain a far fuller picture of both them and ourselves and learn from the entire process far more fully than we might otherwise do.  Never judge in haste, never decide anything in anger and always listen when given the chance.  You'll be glad you did!