The Rumor Mill....

Gossip.  Gossip is a really ugly bi-product of usually, over-zealous, often erroneous and completely fallible human beings.  The habit of gossiping is seen in Eastern philosophies as a point of personal weakness and something to be actively worked upon to negate from a life that is moving toward becoming Enlightened.  It is a truly abhorrent practice that, though its been a problem since man learned to speak, gained particularly popular status during the 50's & 60's soap opera generations and gained even more fuel in the social networking, Facebook/Twitter era.  However, it is really something that should actually be nipped in the bud whenever possible.  It is a petty, small-minded practice that is usually fueled by envy, jealousy, anger or other strong, negative emotions and is rarely more than partially true.

There is a game children play called "Operator" that is often used in corporate training fields to teach the lesson of how stories get warped by consecutive tellings of said story and how, the further away from the original source the information gets, the more "facts" change. You can start out with a one-paragraph story about a little brown dog that lives outside of a big, blue house with a white picket fence who had dinner at the same time his owner did, then ran away after dinner through a hole in the fence and by the time this one little story has gone through only four tellings from person to person, the house has turned small and white, the fence is chain link, the dog is big and blue, the dinner the dog ate was his owner's dinner and the owner is the one running away from home. The fact of the matter is that people simply do not pass the exact fullness of what they hear on in the next telling of a story, ever.  Even the sharpest of memories simply doesn't retain details well enough to be the spokesperson for another's life events, if they even heard the original topic matter in full to begin with. 

For instance, when a marriage is breaking up and the husband is called a "cheating ba___" or the wife is called an "unreactive ice queen" or worse, the truth of the matter is that both people - for whatever their collective reasons - have come to a truly painful place in their lives and need someone to blame and lash out at to make themselves feel better and/or justify leaving that relationship.  In any argument, the truth is never on one side or the other, but somewhere firmly in the middle of the viewpoints of the "injured" parties.  So, for one party or the other to get the entire family, town or state riled up in their own defense by villifying the other party is simply untruthful, inappropriate and unnecessarily harmful.  Even if you've fallen out of love with someone or they've done something that hurt you, that doesn't give you the right to turn around and gossip their personal reputation into the ground - especially about matters in life that should remain private.  On a path that touts, "An It Harm None!" as one of their highest guidelines for personal behavior, striking gossip off your list of things to do in life should be at the top of the list!

Private matters in life are exactly that - PRIVATE!  They aren't designed to be shared, told to others, given out to people that either aren't involved in the situation directly or have no field of understanding for the topic matter anyway.  That isn't to say that we don't deserve to get counseling or help if we need it to help us cope with difficult circumstances in life, but even counseling is supposed to be confidential.  So, honor yourself and others by allowing private matters to stay so and to have the guts and personal ethics to simply tell someone if they are stepping into a zone that is a breach of privacy.  If you know you don't need to hear something about their lives, for instance those things that some might call "TMI" or Too Much Information, say something!  Stop the one speaking and be kind enough to save them from themselves as gently as you can in their highly emotional state. 

Wisdom can tell us that rumors - especially after the third or fourth telling of the story being gossiped about - is never the truth of the matter. So rather than pass along "something you heard came from Sally that Anita told Becky from down the street about that awful guy, Phil...." either be brave enough to go to the source and ask for the truth of the matter, or better yet - have the wisdom to realize its really none of your business!

There is a teaching axim used in traditional Craft that is called the Rule of the Sphinx.  It goes like this:

"To KNOW, to DARE, to WILL, to keep SILENT,
Are the Words of the Magus,

In Order to Dare, you must Know. 

Ye must Will to possess the Empire

To Reign, ye must keep SILENT!"

That is to say, if you wish to truly Know the mysteries of the Universe, you must Dare to truly Know your whole Self without artifice or ego, first.  To Dare to Know one's own Truth, one most Will their own tongue and perceptions under control first and foremost and keep SILENT in the face of gossip, malice or confidential information.  In other words, until you're perfect and make no mistakes of your own, shut your mouth about other people's mistakes or personal, private business. 

Every path has guidelines of this sort.  The Christian faith says Jesus taught, "Let you who is without sin cast the first stone."  The Golden Rule states, "Treat others as you would be treated."  Do you wish your private business to be the fodder for the rumor mill?  No?!  Well then, refuse to be a cog in that mill for others.  Teach by example.  Learn the discipline of closing your mouth and opening your ears, mind and heart to the full truth of any matter shown to you instead of falling easy prey to falsehoods - even partial ones.  Further, extend those qualities to all concerned and if you must hear their "venting," do not judge them or the others involved without personal proof of all that you hear - and even then, determine before you go for those facts if there is truly a reason for you to know, other than your own morbid curiosity.  If there isn't a reason other than your own curiosity, gift them with their privacy and simply stay out of it!  To do otherwise only makes a fool out of you and those you harm with by fueling the rumor mill.